nosey eve is noseying on...

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freudian slip

between friends at the end of an unaccomplished day

friend 1: god, i've spent the day just f***ing!

friend 2: you mean f***ing around!

dirty mouth

friend-to-friend: s**t, i keep swearing lately!

rip-off train ticket

the scene: at a ticket office in a london overground train station

client to ticket office staff member: i didn't say i wanted to buy the train!!!

lost in london

the scene: standing in the queue to top up oyster card. 3 seemingly inebriated young men, let us call them london underground (LU) clients, are complaining to a staff member of the london underground (SMLU) that their tickets are not letting them in.

SMLU: the ticket assumed that you had completed your journey

LU client 1: we got lost before we completed our journey in the allocated time limit 

LU client 2 (in most incredulous voice he can muster): it assuuummed...it assuuumed that we had completed our journey???

SMLU: you can't get lost for 7 hours...

LU client 2 (still in incredulous tone): oh f*** you mate, this is london - you can easily get lost here for a couple of days!!!

a measure of intelligence?

friend-to-friend: she's very clever. she studied at cambridge.

excuses

man arriving to a meeting with friends: sorry i am late. i over-did some pleasure.

on love

male (in afeminate tone, arm swung away from waist at the elbow, floppy wrist): i've fallen in love with him!

shocked female companion: oh nooooo!

said male with afeminate tone: yeah! it's amazzzzing!

lady-like

young female to young male (in loud, raised voice, eyes beaming): i'm SO proud of YOUUUUU!!!! x3

older male (in calm, bewildered tone and puzzled eyes): are you a woman?